000014
Posted By: Cassidy (#2908)
Date/Time: Tue Aug 4 05:58:50 2009
Subject: EPSN Breaking News!

-On EPSN 3600, The Sports World is Abuzz!-

"Hello! I'm Steve Williams, and folks let me tell you, he said "Creed in Three." but he lied. Current WBC Heavyweight Champion Apollo Creed the III defeated number one contender Jorge "The Hispanic Causing Panic" Pias in the Staples Center today by KO in the 2nd round. But this victory has a very sad note."

!!Breaking News!!
!!!Pias Trainer Merrideth "Merry" Burgess suffers heart attack after fight!!!

(Next played is a Clip of Creed's Post Fight Interview)

"I told y'all that I would drop Pias like a bad habit, and I did. I feel bad for what happened to Burgess, but the man has been dead inside since his boy Lucciano lost the belt two years ago. I am the Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, and the Dancin' Destroyer, like my Grandfather before me, and I want to see if that Pulse is still beating, hell, I want to know if the Pulse can still take a beating! True Champions know defeat, and come back, and the man is a coward, just like his fighting style, always afraid to throw a punch! This is an open challenge, I know he's probably broke these days, so I'll front him the money to get into passable shape to fight me. If Paulina Lucciano can pull his balls out of his vag*BEEP*, I want him to face me like a man before the syphillis gets to his eyes and makes him blind. You want a prediction of the fight?….Pain."

"Burgess is currently in critical condition, but is expected to pull through. Paulino 'The Pulse' Lucciano could not be directly reached for comment at this time, but the company that represents him, Lovestruck Promotions, forwarded us to his PR Rep, Kenta Kobashi."

"Who in the *BEEP* is Apollo Creed the III? Who has he beaten? What in the name of *BEEP* makes him think he's even worthy of stepping into the ring with the man with the Nyquil Knucks? Tell that *BEEP* that he needs to let sleeping gods lie."

"Strong Words, from Lucciano's Camp. Expect more on this story as it develops. In other news, Bones Jackson of The Mutant Football League was.."

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